Overnight payday loans were hitting the streets like crack. I had to stop them.
You know, a lot of people think the Glock isn't a great weapon because it's not a hunk of heavy metal, but I have to say that despite the ceramic casing, it's a nice little piece of work when it comes time to break a goon's fingers.
"Tell me. What you know. About the overnight payday loans they offer here!" I held the wrist as I turned the fingers into red pulp with every syllable.
"OH CHRIST IT HURTS. OK, ok, ok, I'll tell you about fast payday loans and all that, but you gotta stop hurting me, man. My boss, he says I'm too pretty to get hurt anymore."
"Sounds like your own business and not my own, buttercup. Tell me all you can about overnight payday loans in less then a hundred and fifty words.
"OK, so we offer these payday loans out of this warehouse, right? They are fast cash, no interest jobs, but you gotta know about the fees and such that surround them. On average, we're dinging people for about $20 for every $100 they take out in an overnight payday loan, but they gotta pay it back within two weeks if they don't want the overage fees."
"Overage fees? Spill those beans, bucky, or brain soup is on the menu tonight." I sounded a lot tougher than I was, but this guy didn't know that. He just knew that his fingers hurt like Michael Jackson's bank account after paying off yet another kid, and it was all for overnight payday loans.
"When they sign the paperwork, man, they say that they'll pay $40 if they don't pay their overnight loans back in the set period. Then it doubles again if they don't pay off their quick payday loans within four weeks. IT's kinda vicious. When you work it out, it's like 900% interest."
That's all I needed to hear about overnight payday loans from this guy. I pulled the trigger back and made him faint from the fear. It's easier than buying new bullets.